Hollywood Connect Journal

07 September 2010 // 03:07 am // 9 Comments

Positive/Negative

Positive/Negative

I’m writing this article on the seventh anniversary of the day I first arrived in Los Angeles to begin my Hollywood adventure as a professional actor and writer. I’ve heard it said that you should always take time to celebrate the small victories, and in my book, anytime you’re able to say you’ve done something for seven years, that’s a pretty good victory.

It’s been a great journey, filled with all the highs and lows and uncertainties found in any good adventure. The best part, aside from being able to do something that I absolutely love doing and getting paid for it, is the number of wonderfully interesting people I’ve met along the way. Yes, this adventure has been filled with artists, entrepreneurs, supporters and fans, many of whom I’m honored to now call my friends.

I’ve lived just long enough to know that true friends – the sort who not only will prop you up on the lean days, but who will also avoid running up the tab on your abundant ones – are exceedingly rare. I’ve been blessed to have them in my corner, and I’m sure you can think of a few in your own. As artists, we need people like that around us. Artistry, which so often occurs in solitude, should never be solitary.

Of course, not everyone you’ll run across in your artistic journey has the personality or inclination to be that sort of support for you.

Take, by way of example, the gentleman from my hometown who, during my first year in Los Angeles, always managed to slip into his every communication with me some version of the question, “When are you giving up and coming home?” as if it was a foregone conclusion. Or the woman here in Los Angeles who always wanted to partner with me in brainstorming some creative ideas, only to shoot down each and every one I offered with a litany of reasons why it wouldn’t work.

Not everybody will be on your side, I’m afraid. You occasionally will meet the person – perhaps even a fellow artist! – who will go to great lengths, consciously or not, to make you feel smaller because it provides her with the silly illusion that she has somehow grown bigger.

Be forewarned: you will meet people who are predisposed to relate to others in this way. Accepting that fact ahead of time makes it easier to respond when you inevitably cross paths with one. You’ll be able to face his or her negativity with a curious look and a “Huh. You’re one of them,” before you continue on your way without giving it another thought. You’ll be able to run across them without succumbing to the urge to run over them.

I should add, of course: take care not to be one of those people yourself.

Some people expend all their creative strength in coming up with reasons why certain things can’t be done. Avoid such people. Instead, surround yourself with those who spend their creative strength in the realm of faith and possibilities.

That’s not to say that you should never listen when someone offers a critique. After all, your true friends are there to keep you grounded in reality, not just to inflate your ego. But learn to discern who those true friends are. The people with whom you want to surround yourself are those whose critiques are intended to help you grow into more of who you were created to be, not just to point out that you are less.

Cultivate those relationships. Cultivate that kind of community, that kind of creative environment. If you find yourself surrounded by the naysayers, find a polite but firm way to disentangle yourself. It’s worth the effort. And when your artistic anniversary rolls around, like me, you’ll be able to say you did it all with help from a few of your friends.

All my best,
Hollywood Connect

To hear an audio version, click HERE.



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